Purpose: as we search for purpose we come to find ourselves lost in cause, for theirs causes for everything but not everything has purpose, we leap from one idea to the next hoping to land on something firm, something right, something that seems, purposeful, only to find that each leap is always one short of what your trying to accomplish; the problem with purpose is that to find it one must take great risks, and many times the risk seems greater then what lies ahead, it involves to much change to take that risk, and we are all afraid of change in one way or another, to some its simply something new and exciting, but to all its curious, so we step lightly onto what might be a new beggining, a second chance even, or a downward spiral of many dreams crashing down on what once was but is now just a shell of an ambitious misguided boy or girl that simply took a leap of faith in the wrong direction and found that purpose is not always what we hope to be…”he has a plan for all of us” some might say, well heres what i say, im not one to speak against God or sound blasphemous or sacrilegious, or none of that shit, but if that’s the case not everybody’s “PLAN” is a good one, Ive seen to many people living at the projects in poverty but still manage to set aside food for the church for those with even more need then their own, i see people that don’t so much as use the Almighty’s name in vain when GOD KNOWS the rest of us do it all the time….Ive seen people bow to their knees in their own living rooms praying to God for salvation shedding tears not of desperation but of happiness, and then Ive seen their neighbors: drug dealers, pot heads, gang-bangers, crackheads, murderers even, that have been in the game for years! rollin in nice cars wit nice cloths n lots of jewelry, n don’t nobody tell me there gonna get theirs. don’t nobody tell me God is gonna smite the wicked, call me materialistic, but if God was gonna SMITE me at 45 with all the shit they got, id say i lived a long and PURPOSEFUL life, whether it was a good purpose or not, with all this being said, if anybody even took the time to listen to this, take a step back n think before u decide to criticize and judge me, cuz “still waters run deep” the “purpose” of this isn’t to talk against God or piss anybody off, i just got a lot of shit my mind, a lot of shit i gotta get of my chest, but i don’t got nowhere to go, im still confused trying to find the next stone in the pond, im still afraid to take the next leap of faith, i see myself standing alone starring down into my reflection waiting for an absolution that just…isn’t coming…and that’s why i keep up my facade, and as everyone else skips across this lonely, foggy pond we call life, i smile n wish them luck, n hope to one day meet them on the other side, but until then, here i stand, on my narrow stone, still searching, for purpose.

a.R. Herr